Living with Strangers in my Own Country

When I tell people I rented a bed space sharing a room with three other girls, they would immediately ask me: “are you a Singaporean?”

"Yes, I am born and bred in Singapore.  I am 100% Singaporean." 

"Then why are you sharing a room with foreigners? Don’t you live with your parents? Do you not have siblings?" they continued to ask.

I stepped into a “new world” and change the way I live the day I shared a room with 3 other girls in a terrace house in Eastern Singapore and living with strangers in my own country. 

Are renting rooms and doing room-share only meant for foreigners?

I don’t blame Singaporean taking it for granted that it is a norm here to own your property, to live with parents or to live with siblings, because even foreigners have the same mentality.

The common reaction I get from foreigners is – “oh, I thought Singapore is a rich country and the government takes care of everything”.

My plans to buy my own public housing apartment is beyond reach now that the cash-over-valuation of between 10 to 20K S$ for a flat with holes in the ceiling and defects you cannot spot and the housing agent commission and the repairs and renovation costs etc are too much for me to bear even though the sum in my CPF account is enough for me to own a three room HDB flat without a housing loan. 

So, I have to settle with living the boarding style minus the headmistress. (smile)

It takes more than just living with people you are not familiar with. 

First and foremost, getting along with roommates is utmost priority.   Harmony is conducive to calm and peaceful living, therefore, it is beneficial to make adjustment in our attitudes and lifestyles which in turn, creates harmonious relationship.

By adjustment of attitude, I meant, no small things is worth spoiling the relationship with people.  Bear in mind that everything are shared, such as, space, utilities and time, so you need to give and take, make the best of it.  

Going into such situation with the right attitude will spare us unhappiness and inconvenience as we live and get along with people.

On the way to the supermarket, try asking your room mate if she wants something and offer to pick it up for her. In the long run, it is always worth maintaining a harmonious relationship with people around you, not just roommates. 

Give  your roommate something that she needs, let your roommate use something that was needed and not available to her at that moment, it is not the giving that matters, it is the attitude of extending hospitality and friendship, and your roommate will pick up on that and do the same.

Getting angry with your roommate? Get out of the situation and cool off.  Words spoken in a fit of anger and at the wrong time could ruin relationship and it is always not worth spoiling the relationship.

Overall, it is not too bad going with the change which is enough to let me overlook the disadvantage of not having my own space for privacy when I needed it.

I am satisfied living where I am now and living with strangers that keeps me company.

Affinity

The bus moved on ...I set off on an aimless destination.  I had the earphones on and the music was interrupted by an incoming call.

My handphone screen showed “coffee lady”.  I was surprised and yet wonder if Josephine (Jo, in short) had spoken to her about our conversation the previous night.

I pressed the button to take the call.  “Hello! Do you know who is calling” the caller asked me.  I said, “Yes – you are Auntie Mary”.  I heard her laughed merrily over the other end.   

Auntie Mary said in Mandarin – “shēngrì kuàilè” which means “happy birthday” then someone in the background corrected her to pronounce: “Shèngdàn jié kuàilè” – that says “Merry Christmas”.  And she pronounced it correctly.  What a lovely effort.  Auntie Mary is 69 years old.  I thanked Auntie Mary for her well wishes.

“Have you found a job?” auntie Mary asked.  I told her I have not.  Then she said “Màn man lái” in Mandarin, which means – slowly or take it easy.

Auntie Mary asked where I was and what was I doing.  I told her I am on the bus and on the way to the church.  It was a lie or half-lie, because I set off looking for “Holy Spirit” church in Thomson Road.  The bus rode past the church, I saw the whole compound packed with cars. I didn't alight, because I felt intimidated by the crowd and the packed compound with cars and nobody was outside.  (I told myself, never mind, go back to the Novena, then).  The Novena church is where I usually visit at night to pray privately.

That was last evening, it was Christmas Eve.

I met Auntie Mary when I joined the company recently to handle the company’s accounts.  When I left the company barely 38 days into the job, we hugged each other so very tightly.  The bosses’ secretary was at my workstation then and Auntie Mary said to her – “she is my daughter”. I can sense that Auntie Mary was very sad, she likes me.  I cannot believe the natural attraction between the two of us - Auntie Mary and me for we had only known each other for 38 days, only seeing each other for 3 hours each day.  I love her coffee she makes me every day.  How nice if she is my mother, I don't mind.  (I missed my own biological mom, she had passed on and I am as good as all alone in this world now.)

And I know, Auntie Mary can never be my mother.